I'd like the take this glorious opportunity in time to say the following;
Screw this.

I probably should have stuck around a little longer to see whether I'd need to change my journal or not, but everytime I click on my profile I wave of 'alarmingly dull' hits me in the face.

Let's do this again my way, shall we love?

My name is Edward Kane. My parents dumped me on the streets of London when I was a just a toddler. There's a high percentage chance that they actually were violently murdered and tried to save my life, but, as interesting as that is, my 'everything good and holy' orphanage persisted that I was simply lying there, twitching and sucking on debris and people as babies normally do.

I'm short. 5'6. I where platforms and such shoes, but I'm not homo or transexual, just vertically challenged.

Nowa'days, I live in Paris. My (soon to be) roomate & one of my best friends is french AND gay, constantly flirting with me, despite having to hit him in the back of the head several times for doing so. Mabye it's like, our crazy young'in hormones or something, but sooner or later, he's going to have an unexpected injury.

My other best friend in a freak, a geek, and an otaku who I'm pretty sure only approached me because she sees a resemblance in me to some weird, German anime character (though, I really hate all the Japanamania going on). She's quite pretty, but I'll thank German genetics and metabolism for that, and all she does is sit around my freakin' house,
EATS MY POCKY, AND LEAVES HER YAOI MANGAWHICHI'MAFRAIDTOTOUCHAROUNDTHEHOUSEFORGUILLIAME TOFIND.

That's pretty much my life. I'm poor, live in the crappy part of town, and will jump off the balcony if this forces me to share a bed
with Guilliame when he moves in.

That's all.

I hope it didn't make you want to spear out your eyeballs this time.